I was not born when the first (fourth, whatever) Star Wars movie came out, so I never thought for a moment that the greatest sci-fi adventure was about Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. (Instead I grew up thinking that Terminator 2 had the greatest special effects ever.) The Star Wars movies (which I always thought were related to Star Trek that I knew faintly about) emerged from the fringes of my vision when Episode I was released and I read about fanatics camping in front of theaters for days to be the first in line. Believe me, I know something about movie fanaticism, having lived in India where movies are the holy word of God and movie stars are the preachers of this gospel, but this level of rabid idolatry for a movie struck me as being pretty out of place in a country that I always viewed as being relatively sane.
Not having seen the original trilogy, and not having the enthusiasm to dig up thirty year old movies, I still went to watch Episode I and II, driven by a curiosity to see what the hullabo was all about, and a faith that any movie that calls itself Episode I cannot depend on the knowledge of Episode IV.
Nevertheless, I did not understood anything about the story, though I did feel that the effects were simultaneously cool and out of place in a movie that still had the 70s style scene wipes and hairstyles. By now I have hopefully established I am a Star Wars atheist, one who has no desire to find the higher truth from the holy trilogy. When my friend asked me to accompany him for Episode III, I had to accompany him, mainly because I was dying to watch a movie in a theatre. Here’s some of my random thoughts while watching the movie. There might be spoilers, but I don’t think they matter because there are only two classes of people who will watch the movie – the fanatics and the I-don’t-give-a-rabbit’s-ass-but-I-am-still-curious types. The first class will already have seen the movie, and the second class won’t remember any of these details anyway. So here’s a few thought bubbles..
- Irritating as hell, is Yoda. Would like to strangle him, I would. Keep talking like that, why does he? Walking stick, why does he use when great somersaults he can do?
- Natalie Portman is Hot! If only she didn’t have those weirdo hairstyles.. But she’s Hot!
- There’s a lot of funny looking non-humans in there, but why are all the humans caucasian?
- Oh wait, I was wrong, there is the ‘token black guy‘ but I still want to see some Chinese guys there!
- The non-humans (I don’t know what else to call them) must have been hacking into Al-Jazeera transmissions from earth because they all speak middle-eastern accented English.
- Is that a subtle satire on politics? I’m pretty sure I heard Darth make a very familiar statement ‘If you’re not with me, you are my enemy!’.
- Lots of fights between strange creatures and kickass weapons. Feels like watching the World of Warcraft over your buddy’s shoulder, but gawd, I wish it did not go on forever!
Phew!